Foot Traffic

This week, Tess at Magpie Tales focussed our attention on  the delights, or not, of cars and it set me thinking...

In the wilds of Abergele
we shun traffic fumes. Phew! Smelly!
The classic wellie boot prevails
as people's feet stomp round the town,
climb craggy hills, both up and down.
Clear, high peaks crown our kingdom, Wales.

And on Tuesday there was an explanation of a Welsh poetic form called Cywydd Llosgyrnog on Imaginary Garden. What a coincidence! So I've had a go at it here.

On The Subject Of Ducks...

I bring you a rural tale inspired by Tess  with her Magpie #87, mostly to show there is a continuation of  life after the ball...

To recover from dancing the whole night away, the Trellises went for a long walk next day, enjoying the countryside, doing no harm, until their route led them to a favourite farm. On one side of the farmyard a weed covered pond was full of live quackers of which they were fond. But as Caddoc approached too near to the edge, remarking "I wonder how often they dredge this to clear it of weed and extraneous matter?" his foot slipped, and there came an end to his chatter as with a splash he toppled and fell right onto a duck! He rang its death knell for it’s neck got bent over and a horrible ‘Crack!’ made the Trellises shiver - It was one stone-dead duck, with feathers still warm, but no sign of a quiver of life. It’d never again enjoy pond or river…

The farmer strode up. "What’s all this commotion? You’ve killed a poor duck? Don’t get any notion about sneaking it off to provide a free dinner! In this situation, there’ll be only one winner… And that’ll be me! Now get you both gone, before I call the dogs! They’ll soon set upon you trespassing Trellises!" and he chased them away, with Cad muttering "Sorry! What more can I say?"

You Shall Go To The Ball!

I know I am no Cinderella but here I am with my Welsh fella heading out for Willow's ball. He's shed his gardening overall but not his crumpled hat... I fear those purple flares are yesteryear. And see me in the height of fashion! Could it enflame some dancer's passion who'll sweep me up in his embrace and look with rapture on my face and...  "Sorry, Caddoc, dearest dear, I'd quite forgotten you were here.
And lest you think I'm playing false,I'll share with you the Midnight Waltz."

Thank you Tess, for letting us attend your grand function!

P.S. Trellissimo wants to add his twopenn'orth, as he happened to have visited an Imaginary Garden with real toads, and wanted to dip his oar in the water, hoping he may be allowed to join us as an honorary guest - or even by the back door? Here's his ticket:-

Ada and Caddoc agree,
that they'll be a hip old pair
who'll attend the Willow Ball
looking like Sonny and Cher.

They both remember the time-
O sublime and carefree days -
when Flower Power flourished
and life passed by in a haze.

Retribution!

A reporter and photographer next morning hurried round from "The Abergele Trumpeter", the  local rag. They found  they couldn't speak to Ada, for Cad was home alone, standing in the wreckage. They heard him sigh and groan.
"Tell us what happened to your shed?" <<<Click here to find out!

By now the elephant had fled  leaving  matchwood all around and plum stones thick upon the ground.
"We'd like to take a photograph to give our readership a laugh. The Circus has agreed to pay. You Trellises have won the day! We promise to deliver wood to build a shed where once one stood!"Caddoc, now no longer tearful, greeted Ada. "Now I'm cheerful! I'll end up pictured in the papers because of elephantine capers."

And so Caddoc rebuilt his shed and Ada, watching Caddoc said, "Now what bee is in his bonnet? He's painting lots of mice upon it!"  She waited till he came back in, wearing for once a cheery grin." That will stop the wrinkly beast that thought to make a tasty feast of Trellis leeks and plums and such. My rebuilt shed it will not touch!"

But Ada, puzzled, said "Why not?  Your rebuilt shed has nothing got that heretofore the old one had. Except those painted mice, so, Cad, explain yourself. And make it good. I really never thought I would have to gaze on painted mice, although your brushwork is quite nice."

And Caddoc said, "Why Ada dear, mice alone are what they fear! All elephants will pass us by when mice upon my shed they spy!" But Ada shook her doubting head. "God give me strength!" she sadly said.

With many thanks to Tess at Magpie Tales, who this week featured a painting containing the very newspaper in which this 

happening was reported!

 

 

Plumb Crazy

"What was that noise?" cried Caddoc, awaking with a start. He shook the sleeping Ada, saying "Hark to that, dear heart! There's something in the garden … No! It's not my dreaming head!"  But Ada cried "Why, look you, Cad! We're only just to bed." Cad drew back their bedroom curtain, to see his joy and pride- his 'Safe From Ada' garden shed - was lying on its side.

It had put up no resistance. It had truly had met its match and massive rounded footprints trailed around his cabbage patch. His leeks had been uprooted then cast in haste aside in favour of the juicy plums the intruder had espied. And, squatting on its haunches with a big smile on its face, its curled trunk picking off his plums as if it owned the place "An ELEPHANT!" cried Caddoc, and Ada sighed "What next?" She was used to Caddoc’s teasing, but today she was perplexed, for he sounded so insistent, his tale had to be true...

See, this Houdini elephant hadn’t run off from a  Zoo - but Monty Python’s Flying Circus, in the neighbourhood to entertain the public and astound the great and good, the lowly and the highborn, with acts of daring-do...I’d love to buy a ticket for that show! Now, wouldn’t you?

Thanks to Tess at Magpie Tales for producing an elephant in the room this week!

Snake Charmers Extraordinaires!

While Caddoc was busy with  paint pots galore Ada decided she'd like something more. She started to mull over lots of ideas to lighten the dullness of forty long years with Caddoc, who spent so much time in his shed his to'ings and fro'ings always by-passed her bed. She enrolled in a class on "Seducing With Snakes" and perfected a 'charming' technique that would make Cad less resemble a wet little weed, with knees all a tremble but a lover who'd feed her with fantasies - the kind a girl needs to perk up her day... And I think this cartoon says it all, in a way...

       

Tess put the Snake Charmer notion into people's heads at Magpie Tales this week. Ada, as might be expected, interpreted it in her own unique fashion...

Calm Before The Storm

Having removed my paint daubed shoes **  I've crept away to my shed to prepare for Ada's wrath in the only way I know how- by taking solace in rhyme.  Thanks to various Blogworld people, this has taken on a new twist today...

Caddoc Clown In Rondeau Mode


Bring on the clowns! Let laughter rule,
for everybody loves a fool.
Let them jest and tumble madly,
painted faces peering sadly
at a world too harsh and cruel

to please the King of All Misrule.
Clowning may fall between two stools;
they mock us, and we take taunts gladly;
we sometimes copy them, but badly.
Bring on the clowns!

Their merriment, if learned in school
can be a lifelong, useful tool
to help our flagging spirits rally,
so let's make haste - no time to tarry-
and mirth may well our joy refuel.
Bring on the clowns!

** Click this link for the back story, and read more rondeaux HERE at Imaginary Garden..

Foot In Mouth? Not This Time, Caddoc...

Ada, startled from a dream, awoke and gave a piercing scream.  For there, suited in ghostly white she saw, or thought she saw, a fright - (line break, hahahaha!) 

ful image standing by her bed, a zombie wearing Caddoc's head! 

But who else could wear that silly hat, save Caddoc? She cried "Out, you prat. What stupid joke is this you're playing? You've very little chance of staying to watch me getting up and dressed, although you'll always do your best to hang around and drool and flirt while Ada's putting on her skirt..."

“ Beloved, you’re a sight that pleases; I start to think of hugs… and sqeezes...You! In your dainty night attire, you know you set my lust afire! But hush you now, I beg you, stop. I am about to paint your top (*). Now our boudoir’s spick and span, I thought I’d play the handyman again and paint the kitchen ceiling. Can’t you see I am appealing to your tidy side my sweet? I know you like things clean and neat.”

And Caddoc in his pristine whites (shunning the thought of all delights) made his way down to the kitchen, forgetting Ada and her bewitching charms for just a little while. He concentrated on the pile of paint pots, brushes, roller trays that haunted dreams and filled his days with busy minutes. “Splish!” and “Splosh!” the bristles went.

“There, now, that’s posh" our Caddoc said while stepping back… But, goodness me! Alas! Alack! His size nine foot went in the paint –  

A handy man is what he ain’t!!!

Wait till Ada sees… to be continued…

But click on (*) above to see the back story.

What Is The World Coming To?

I was enjoying my evening stroll along the canal bank when I came across this depraved piece of graffiti on  a wall.  Normally I would avert my eyes and pass by, but it struck me that it fulfilled the requirements of a blog-prompt I saw whilst keeping an eye on the adventures of my friends Ada and Caddoc Trellis. Fortunately or perhaps not, I found the prompt from my browser "History"  You too can find it  - here.

And here is the vile verse. I can well imagine that its execution took considerably less than a minute.

I hauled out my member.

She let go her drawers.

An allegro knee-trembler

and several encores.

Not On The Scrap Heap Yet!

Ada woke one morning, stood before her looking glass and said "Today I'm feeling good.  I think I'll join a class of body building ladies to accentuate my curves." She wondered for a moment if she'd ever have the nerve to don a skimpy scarlet kit to give her Cad a treat, and imagined how such actions might knock him off his feet...

For many weeks her dumbbells rang. "I think I've proved my point. I am no Ada-Stick-In-Mud with nose put out of joint by any shapely siren.  I can compete with the best," and she flexed the well-toned muscles that held aloft her chest.

She kept it all a secret, went about her daily chores, until one Wednesday afternoon, loud footsteps clomped indoors… Caddoc, entering from his shed, called 'Cooee! Are you there?"
"Yes dear, come you in and sit." and Caddoc, unaware of his wife's intentions, perched upon the wooden stool she lead him to, but nonetheless, he managed to stay cool.
"I'll only be a moment, for I need to change my clothes" and Ada gave a saucy grin and wrinkled up her nose...
 
When she walked back in the kitchen, how Caddoc gawped and stared – It was such a transformation he was truly unprepared for  the sight that greeted him! He could not believe his eyes - Ada as a scarlet woman? Boyo! That was some surprise!

"I thought that I'd been relegated to the 'naughty' stool?”
“Oh, Caddoc, will you never learn? You really are a fool (*) !”

And Ada stormed off in a huff…But I hope Tess won't when she realises this was triggered by her 'Stuck-in-the-mud' abandoned vehicle on Magpie Tales!

(*) And there's more proof  here if you need it. Just  click the link before the asterisk...

Ideal Gift

Caddoc is a man with a dress sense all his own but when I saw him yesterday, out in the rain alone, I was startled when I noticed that he held above his head a very large umbrella in a garish shade of red. He looked for all the world like the guy from Magpie Tales but I thought "That's Caddoc Trellis, from Abergele, Wales... So what on earth's he doing in this seedy part of town?" And if his Ada saw him, would she be inclined to frown? Would he try to reassure her with "I must have lost my way. I was off to buy a pressie, love, in nearby Colwyn Bay. I think I missed my turning as I headed through Pensarn and then it started raining, dear, I muttered "Drat!" and "Darn"'cos when my brolly is unfurled I can only see my feet so I don't know how I ended up in this decrepit street of drinking dens and betting shops, Houses of Ill Repute where naughty girls in fish-net tights hold out Forbidden Fruit. So lead me homeward, Ada, and when all is done and said, I'll gladly do some penance in my lonely garden shed."

Would Ada say, "A pressie, Cad, could put your wrongs to right" if Caddoc beamed and handed her ...
a pair of fish-net tights?

Who's A Real Toad?

Ada dear has called me  "Toad!"
on more than one occasion.
I quickly learned to close my ears
with much determination 
not to falter in my step,
or resort to battle stations.

For toads can hop off mighty fast
they're slippery little critters.
My best defence is to disappear
and quaff a glass of bitter (*)              
safe within my potting shed,
far from Beloved's twitter!

(*) A type of British Beer

There was an invitation issued on Monday "Calling all toads!" - so here I am - eventually!

Heaven's Above?

Surely this is a picture to strike fear into the hearts of all DIY enthusiasts everywhere! 

This week,  Magpie Tales, thanks to Tess, has spotlighted another glorious episode in the Life and Times of the indomitable Ada and Caddoc Trellis.  Recently, a sudden bout of Make Over Fever hit the Trellis household when Ada raised her eyes - not to Heaven - but the ceiling! Which is what some Brits, and particularly Welsh Brits, call their 'Top'. 

Ada, on her back in bed, muttered "When he comes in from his shed, I'll say 'Cad, this top needs doing.' Then he'll know there's trouble brewing."

Unsuspecting, in walks Cad.
   "My basil's looking not half bad, my love!" he calls, and bounds upstairs where Ada, from her store of stares chooses her stoniest.
   "Right, my lad, a brilliant idea I have had! You're now a decorator's mate. We have a room to decorate!"
Caddoc sighs, begins to wallow in thoughts of what is soon to follow. But Ada sugar-coats the pill.
   "When it is done our bedroom will look like a Turkish knocking shop. And then I'll keep you on the hop! Wallpaper won't be all you'll strip... so hasten on a 'Homebase' trip. Here's a list of what we need - and get you back at topmost speed!"

It's best the next week be glossed over. For sure, it was no bed of clover as Caddoc, teetering on a ladder while Ada pasted paper, had a sneaky, hovering premonition that other rooms in poor condition would soon be added to a list where 'Ada's Mark' could not be missed... But paint and paper once renewed, the busy pair stood back and viewed their spruced up boudoir with delight, and so relived their wedding night.

What IS Behind The Green Door, Anyway?

Thanks Tess, for your
Edward Hopper prompt.

Wanted: A Bicycle Made For Two

 

Thus read the advertisement which appeared in the local press shortly before Caddoc and Ada planned to marry. He dreamed of taking her on a tandem tour around local beauty spots for their honeymoon....  Sadly, one was not forthcoming, and their story ran more like this...

"One minute, dearest," Caddoc said."I've things to see to in my shed."
"I'm the one", Ada replied, "needs seeing to!"
But Caddoc cried "Look you! My leek is growing limp!"
"That's not all, you weird Welsh wimp, that's hanging down in glum dejection where I should spy your Welsh . . . "
"Perfection!"
came the rejoinder from her spouse busy in his new greenhouse. Soon Ada's fears were laid to rest, and Caddoc wooed her, full of zest...
"All it needs is a brief spell of watering from my special well. Then you'll find your leek just grew some. We can make a blissful twosome."
And soon young Cad let out a shout.
"So THAT'S what nuptials are about! No more pottering in my shed- We'll spend our time in bed, instead!

You can see more of Caddoc waxing lyrical HERE, thanks to his being reminded of the stars in Ada's eyes, after Tess' "Cycles Sirius" brought back his disappointment over the non-appearance of a tandem...but Alicia was to blame for the honeymoon theme...