Festive Poetry Bus Challenge December 27th.

Muse Swings asks blogpoets to commemorate the most useless (etc) gift they ever received  . .  or gave.

Christmas Unwrapped by Ada Trellis

What's a young gal like me supposed to do

with artificial knee joints? One or two

I just about could understand - put by

as hostages to fortune. Cracked, creaking, dry,

my own knees, crumbling from too much pole-dancing

might one day need some serious enhancing.

But THREE?  I ask you! Tesco, can it be

you're offering a "Buy Two Get One Free"

on hip replacements, knuckles, sundry parts?

Soon you'll be stocking artificial hearts

along with DIY instruction kits,
translated from Chinese -

                                             behind your t*ts
hear bleatings of your harts. Cut quick. Cut deep.

Do not attempt lepracement while you sleep.

Not shootable for infants under sex.

We are not riable if you end up wrecks."

Caddoc's behind this gift!  Soft in the head!

I gave my silly man a Garden Shed,

and to make sure he stayed in there alone,

threw in an Entry Level Saxophone.

Now we can swap our tales of Festive Gifts

and hope our giggles make an end to rifts.


Note to Ada from Cad: I had a quiet word with Trellissimo, and he let me in the back door of your post, as you might say, in order for me to explain my thinking as regards the unusual gift! Sometimes a chap does need to chime in, in the hopes of ringing your bell...
Caddoc Claims His Right To Reply! 

Have you not heard the old refrain

"Knees Up Mother Brown?"

The third knee, dearest, is to use

to stop you falling down!

When the other two are in the air,

the third will keep you steady.

Shall I carve a wooden leg

with knee joint in already?

You could use it like a walking stick

and always keep it handy -

especially if it's hollow,

and could be filled up with brandy!