Perceptive readers will no doubt recognise this misquote from Dr. Samuel Johnson.
"Sir, a dog driving is like another walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all."
Which strikes me as an appropriate lead in to my application for a ticket on Titus's bus.This picture is one of his/hers or hers/his dog's prompts.
My dog can drive a Chevrolet
the way some poets write.
The neighbours say, "He's awesome"
They surely mean he's s**te?
The Central Reservation
he thinks is sooooooooo poetic,
like centered text that's driven by
their versified emetic.
He could not pass the Driving Test.
He never found the time
to learn even the simplest rules
like metre, image, rhyme.
As their ramblings wander down the page
he wobbles side to side
But he knows not moderation.
(though there's much that he should hide.)
He does not seek approval,
greets comment with a yelp.
Dogs that drive, like awesome poets
are beyond all hope, all help.
the way some poets write.
The neighbours say, "He's awesome"
They surely mean he's s**te?
The Central Reservation
he thinks is sooooooooo poetic,
like centered text that's driven by
their versified emetic.
He could not pass the Driving Test.
He never found the time
to learn even the simplest rules
like metre, image, rhyme.
As their ramblings wander down the page
he wobbles side to side
But he knows not moderation.
(though there's much that he should hide.)
He does not seek approval,
greets comment with a yelp.
Dogs that drive, like awesome poets
are beyond all hope, all help.
The dog driving reminds me of some of the old uns in our village - they never took the Test (didn't have the time and it wasn't a requirement when they got issued with their licences!)
ReplyDeleteAs mu grandfather used to say "Any fool can learn to drive - more's the pity."
Apart from the fact this wasn't one of the choices for the Ticket Choice, it is nevertheless totally brilliant, and should ensure a season ticket, at least!
ReplyDeleteAda . . Jinksy is quite right. But anyone could be forgiven for not realising the Advanced Driving Dog wasn't one of the prompts after wading through all the mind-numbing preamble on the prompter's blog.
ReplyDeleteAda- I decided to back up my Beloved by using the same mistaken prompt, to show just how in tune our hearts and minds can be.
ReplyDeleteDoctor FTSE, you have made a very salient point about the pre-amble - I endorse your sentiments. Plain and simple instructions are best, especially for plain and simple people like Ada and Cad.
Cad . . thanks. There's nothing plain and simple about the Bus. Worst organised "prompty" in blogland. TFE links to drivers not always in place in good time. Drivers who they seem to think they should write half the Encyclopedia Brittanica before they get to the point . . . but don't get me started.
ReplyDeleteMrs Trellis, magnificent!
ReplyDeleteDoctor FTSE, shame on you! I just counted - less than 60 words before the prompts, mainly one-syllable. Seems crystal to me.
PMT?
I'd rather write about dogs, too, but I've always been a compliant person. Lovely to find all this rebellion here, and to come across a rhyme using the word "emetic" ... it boosted my intelligence quotient today! Thank you for the smile you plastered on my face.
ReplyDeleteDishy dog driver.
ReplyDeleteAnything goes, so this is a valid ticket! Nice rhymes. I think I write like that dog drives!
ReplyDeleteAS For FTSE the bus bog needs cleaning.
perhaps the dog needs spectacles
ReplyDeletesince he might be missing his testicles?
great post as always!
beautiful dog poem.
ReplyDeletefabulous writing..