Look Before You Leap

"To think" mused Ada "I proposed to Cad. I thought that he was such a lovely lad. But I soon realised his garden shed was more attractive to him than our bed. I did not know he wore such gruesome hats. I did not understand we'd have such spats. Are you surprised my mouth quite soon turned down, that where there once were smiles there's now a frown? I HATE the way he scratches at his belly. I do not like my life in Abergele. Sometimes I think I ought to run away and find myself a flat in Colwyn Bay. Look out!  He's coming in. And oh . . my nose is telling me he's bringing me Leap Year roses! Do I misjudge him? Has he a kind heart? All the same, I wish that he'd not f**t so loudly when he's thinning seedlings... He tries to get round me with his wheedling words, which (he should know), I find absurd!
Especially when trumpeting’s all that I’ve heard!

Ella at IGWRT asked that we wrote about sounds we heard - but she probably never expected these... Haha! 

Shopaholic Versus Alcoholic?

Caddoc closed his calloused fist
upon a crumpled shopping list
and glared at stacked up tins of soup.
“Why am I always such a noop
who tries  unfailingly to follow
Ada’s law, though hard to swallow…
(unlike her cans of Campbell’s soup
made from chickens) Could I stoop
to crafty levels?
Be a wild, rebellious devil?
Buy the beer I’ve lately missed?
I’d promise I would not get p*****
by drinking all the tins at once.
I was never such a dunce
that I could not slake my thirst
without succumbing to the worst
fate that ever mankind knew-
intoxication from a brew
of hops and other heady potions
designed to give a fellow notions...”

But once back home Cad was surprised.
Things were not as he'd surmised.
His Ada said "I'm tired of tea.
You've something stronger there, I see.
So why don't we two share a tinfull?"
(More than that she'd think was sinful.)
They sat, drank, giggled at the telly,
the merriest pair in Abergele,
till Ada looked at Cad askance,
decided she would take a chance,
"You've fuelled my ardour with one can.
So get upstairs, you norty man!"

In her Mag 106, Tess has brought our attention to the delights of shopping for well known cans of soup...All of which caused Caddoc's and Ada's minds to wander...

On Yer Bike!

Our hapless pair set out in tandem one fine day, to ride at random. Of a sudden, Cad sees he’s alone. He stops and pulls out mobile phone.

"Is that the Coastguard?  Caddoc Trellis here. Ada's lost along the way, I fear! We set out for a cycle ride. She fell behind.      

I've hunted far and wide from Pentre Mawr and Pensarn, all the way along the coast from Rhyl to Colwyn Bay. I'm getting filled with vague alarm. It's not like my Ada. Has she fallen off her bike? Is she lying by the roadside in distress, her lycra cycling suit a muddy mess? 

Wait!  Sorry that I bothered you. Just found my Ada's in a phone booth, on the ground! I dare not say how little she is wearing! I need to know her reason for her baring all, in this psychedaelic phone booth's light… to anyone but me, a fearsome sight.

     
"Ada!  What do you think you’re doing here?"                             

"Could that be Caddoc's voice? He sounds quite near."       

"Ada, dearest!  THIS EDIFICE IS NOT A SUNBED! Have you, perchance, quite lost your head? I’ve long suspected you might be every bit as mad as me!!!"

Thanks once again to Tess, whose Mag 105 called forth this madness from the Trellis Tribe..

Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud!

Caddoc heard mud baths were good for the skin and wondered how he might persuade Ada in to sample the benefits, though she'd get mucky. 
I thought she'd say,   

"Cad, it's too yucky, ducky. How dare you suggest it? That one such as I, whose addiction to purity none can deny, should flounder about in a tub full of slime? That's tantamount to matrimonial crime!"
But Caddoc was tired of her protestations...
"I'm determined to remedy this situation. I’ll sully that image that's whiter than white, at least in her own eyes. I will give her a fright! I'll make a mud bath but top it with bubbles - cleaning  them up will be least of my troubles… Ada already makes me feel more than a tad useless and hopeless. It’s time I got mad!”
But when Ada lay daintily down in the bath She was a LONG way from having a laugh.  
“Help! What has happened? Someone get me out!”Came the heartrending sound of her piquant shout. 
“Trell to the rescue!” yelled I. Then with haste I hauled mudcaked Ada, now very red faced, onto the bathmat, trying not to stare as dollops of mud trickled down from her hair.

Then I gave her a blow dry, body and all and the mud formed a solid shell, waiting to fall, just like a plaster cast. That’s when I retired, and left  her to Caddoc. He was inspired. He baked her mud-mould and created ‘art’which he hung in the lobby. And that was the start of another new hobby for Mister C.T., the frustrated artist of this family!

This fol-de-rol was inspired by Tess Kinkaid's Magpie Tales #104, where you will find many more offerings.

Men Will Be Boy Racers.

Caddoc, deep in mid-life crisis, sought new outlets which was why his thinking turned to 4 by 4's. Freedom! Fresh air! Out of doors, with shed and Ada far behind, he could roam freely. He would find trackways wild across the hills. All North Wales out there for thrills. So he sent for information, planned trips to hilltop destinations. Mount Snowdon via the Horseshoe Pass. Who knows? Maybe he'd meet a lass stranded with her big-end shot. Then he'd soon show her age is not a bar to wielding jack and tools. "We wrinklies, we are no-one's fools. From Abergele to Porthmadoc I'll be known as Whizzwheels Caddoc!"

Said Ada, "Cad - your lamp grows dimmer. All you need's a four wheeled zimmer. No point in looking so forlorn. Now look you!  Practise on the lawn."