Cut To The Quick

Willow's Magpie prompt this week reminded me of a recent incident in Abergele, in the Trellis household.

Scene:  The kitchen of the Trellis house, which seems as quiet as a mouse. Mrs. T. is not in view, so Caddoc won't know what to do when he enters from his shed.

Caddoc:      "Is Beloved still in bed?  Dare I see if there's a chance of early morning dalliance in my Ada's sleepy arms and still-warm-from-her-duvet charms?    
But now he spies the table  there is laid out with her favourite pair of baking tins and bags of flour.

Caddoc:      "It must be the appointed hour when Ada sets herself to bake my favourite lemon flavoured cake. Her baking's really unsurpassed, and now that we are friends at last, I'll help, I will! I'll do my best to grate for her the lemon zest that's needed to impart the flavour. She will be grateful for the favour!

He smiles at this weird play-on-words (which some might think is quite absurd). Then, taking grater from its stand and siezing lemon in one hand, he attacks its yellow, dimpled skin.  He notes the action is akin to stroking his Beloved's face. From this his thoughts drift to the lace that trims her dainty night-time wear. And straightaway a glassy stare comes to his lust besotted eyes as he imagines Ada's ...Cries of pain escape poor Cad. Oh, what a silly, careless lad! Daydreaming of the joys to come he's grated great lumps from his thumb ... 

 

Ada: (from somewhere up the stair)      Caddoc! What's going on down there! I warn you Cad, if you've brought mud in on your boots, I'll have your blood!
Caddoc:      Dearest one, I do declare my blood is flowing everywhere!
Ada:          And if you've spoiled my lemon cake, I swear I'll make your goolies ache!
 (Turns to the audience.)
This isn't normal Ada-speak, but I have had a dreadful week! First my washing came a cropper when Cad chanced, with swinging chopper, to fell the washing pole, the git! He meant a tree to take the hit, but lack of glasses made things blurry, and he mistook it in his hurry. Next, I had my bumper dented- good job the car was only rented.

Now she looks at Cad askance - he has led her such a dance, but blood is spurting from his thumb. She realises what he's done and grabs a first-aid sticky plaster  (no one could have found one faster) and staunched the flow in one fell swoop. 

Ada:       Why are you, husband, such a noop? I leave you to your own devices,  and all your plans turn into crises. 
Caddoc:      At least my gory, red blood-spatter did not fall in our cake batter. And what better outcome could I have mastered, than one in which I end up plastered?!
Trellissimo:  Cad wonders, while the cake is baking, would there be time for some lovemaking? But he despairs when Ada squawks! "Cad, clean those bloody knives and forks!"