One Stop Poetry. 23/05/2011

I received the following poem on a sheet of a "certain kind" of paper, wrapped inside a parcel of laundry from Caddoc Trellis, at present in police custody.  He asked me to give it to his wife Ada. I dare not. She is very handy with the frying pan, or so I'm told. So I post it here. It fits the spirit of Mr. Luke Prater's One Stop Poetry, and it fits too the spirit of the rest of the Trellis story. But I fear Caddoc is finding incarceration distressing....
An Abergele Romantic Speaks Out

Dear Ada is my one true love,
her smile, her hair, her wellie boots,
her startling range of Birthday Suits.

I love her to the skies above;
I love her bed (more than my shed)
and sometimes, when push comes to shove,

her passion yields climactic hoots!
Dear Ada is my one true love.
No sooner had Ada  read his words, than she rushed to her escritoire, and in next to no time handed me a reply on her monogrammed notepaper, entreating me to deliver it to Caddoc as soon as possible. But I thought I should share it with you - don't tell Ada! 
An Abergele Wife Speaks Out

Oh, Cad, you're nothing but a fool!
How dare you write such saucy stuff,
about my being in the buff?

To flaunt such things is really cruel.
You love my bed more than your shed?
I'll whack you with my kitchen stool,

my silly man who's far from tough.
Oh, Cad, you're nothing but a fool!

Flash Fiction 55. 20th.May 2011

I hope My Beloved Ada doesn't start on at me for trying my hand at Mr.G-Man's fantastic Flash Friday short fiction, particularly as my effort mentions . . . well, read on.

Eyeful

A man was arrested in a London Underground station for “breach of the peace” by scrambling up the “Down” escalator. CCTV showed him riding the “Down” escalator earlier in the normal manner.

When asked why he chose this inconvenient way of going "Up"  he replied “The ‘Down’ escalator is on the side with the brassiere adverts.”

Pie Eyed?

Caddoc, on a boot sale jaunt, and defying Ada's  taunt of  "Don't come back with useless tat - you know what I would do to that!",  thought he had a master plan. And this was where his trials began...

"Ada, dear, I swear I'll find a statue of a well hewn kind - something tasteful to adorn our tiny but well tended lawn."

And after hours of careful searching, his eyes lit up."That's it! Kerching! I shall purchase good Saint Francis, cart him home. If Ada fancies... "

"How much," asked Ada, looking grim, "Did you have to pay for him?"

"A measley tenner" Caddoc said.

" But why the piecrust on his head?"

Indeed, poor Cad could not deny when viewed with a discerning eye, the statue's head was less than formal. Its piecrust hat was quite abnormal. Caddoc spluttered out the words "I suppose it's full of Blackbirds!"
"Blackbirds! What, all Four and Twenty?"  Caddoc, you annoy me plenty!'
"Right, Beloved cease your bawling! Can't you see, my crest is falling? I'm off - back into my shed, where often in the past I've fled. That'll give you time to simmer down, and make a pie for dinner!"

To be continued...

And once again, thanks, and apologies, to Tess At Magpie Tales .